Song 18 - May 2 - May 9, 2011

"Prayer For Ebi"

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"Prayer For Ebi" - song #18 - MP3 file

"Prayer For Ebi"

Length: 3:20

Track count: 5 Tracks

Instrumentation: Banjo, field recordings

May 9th - My sweet dog Ebi is gone. We fought it as hard as we could, but the cancer she had was the most aggressive the vets have seen. A year turned to six months, then to two weeks,less than a week, then to a day. She passed over May 4th.

I try to make sense of it, and one one level yes, I know, this is part of the tide we all swim in - death, rebirth, loss and love. And I know that she and I have been lucky to walk together these nine years. But it could be nine hundred. I will never be ready to lose her.

This song consists of ocean and banjo tracks I recorded during our trip to the coast, each just one take, and some backyard recordings I made the day we said goodbye, spending the day ion the sun together all day in the backyard. A mourning dove came down near the end, and you can hear Ebi walking in the background.

This past week I was facing the end of our time. And then she was gone. I knew she would be ready, and she told me she was. I wasn't ready. But I'm trying to feel everything, let it in as much as it hurts, and one of the things that is strongest is my joy of having known this amazing spirit. The rest of this page is what I wrote that day.

May 2nd -
I took Ebi to the coast for what I think is our last time. She's being so sweet and trying to go out on the beach, but not able to walk more than a few yards along the sand. In a way this helps me face the inevitable, because like most dogs running on the beach was her favorite thing. So this helps me know she's winding down. So we spent time in the room by the big glass doors all day and night, me holding her, or just looking out together at the ocean.

In the morning I set the recorder out early in the morning to catch the sound of the ocean as we sat together, and then sat on the bed and played a prayer to her. I had the recorder going, and after some false starts, I was able to just feel. And then I started to cry. And then I turned the recorder off. The ocean this morning and that banjo track are what you hear.

Prayers for Ebi. I hope this next last part of our journey is not too hard for her. I can't imagine my life without her. But she's left me with something I would never have had without loving her and having her in my life. Her footprints will always be in my heart. I know she's going to whatever sweet reward surely waits for a dog. I hope when my time comes to leave this earth I will see her there.

There's a quote by Edward Hoagland: "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." I can only hope to be lucky enough to have become partly Ebi.

Ebi, circa 2010

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